


Wildfire Whiz-Bangs

by mortenavida



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-21
Updated: 2012-06-21
Packaged: 2017-11-08 06:09:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortenavida/pseuds/mortenavida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry finds that things are never as they seem, especially when it involves the Weasley Twins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wildfire Whiz-Bangs

I took a deep breath before looking back to the people who followed me: Ron, Ginny, and Neville from Gryffindor, Luna and Hermione from Ravenclaw. I knew I was putting all of them at risk, just as I had done to Cedric last year. Thankfully, he had awoken a week after the whole attempted murder incident physically unharmed. Headmistress McGonagall figured that Voldemort, who had cast the Killing Curse at him, had just been too weak for it to hold. Since then, Cedric had stuck by me and put down anyone who didn’t believe us about the dark wizard’s return. The true Triwizard Champion became a journalist and countered everything Rita Skeeter did. Lucky sod managed to get more support in three articles than I did in the past two years.

The selfish part of me wished Cedric were here, outside the door to the Hall of Prophecy. I could use his courage just like the others needed my own. I took a deep breath. "Ready?" I asked them, not really sure why I bothered asking. They'd follow me no matter what stupid stunt I decided to pull.

"Ready, Harry." Ron took a step closer. "We’re behind you all the way."

"Right, let’s go." I let out a breath and opened the door.

A room full of hand-sized goblets had not been what any of us were expecting. Files, yes, but not glass cups radiating light. We stepped through the aisles slowly, fearing an attack at every corner. The squeak of Neville's shoes didn't help any of our nerves.

"Do you remember the number?" Hermione asked, keeping close to Neville. The two were oddly cute together, Neville standing there awkwardly as Hermione clung to his arm. Her wand was angled close to his face, but he didn't seem to mind.. "The one you saw in your vision?"

"Yeah, it’s down here." I pulled my eyes away from the nearest shelf and decided to run through the aisles. I could hear the others following behind, but I paid no attention to them. We had to find Sirius.

I counted the numbers as we passed, feeling more and more unsure of myself the further we went. Before I knew it, we had reached the right shelf, the one I saw in my vision. There was only one problem: no Sirius Black. Panic set in; what if we were too late? Could Voldemort already have cast the curse? I felt my breath quicken, and my vision became blurry. I looked around desperately, trying to find something real to focus on. My eyes landed on Ron, my scar flared to life, and then all I saw was black.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The flutter of an owl shook me out of my nightmare, the same one that had plagued me since my fifth year at Hogwarts. I lost my godfather that night in the battle, and what a pointless battle it was. When I reached up for the goblet with my name swirling around the outside, Neville bumped into me because of a curse and I knocked over the bloody thing. The fighting stopped in order for all of us to watch the greenish liquid pour onto the concrete and burn a hole straight through it. When Ron sneezed, we all seemed to come to our senses and fought again. We ran, Lucius Malfoy and his two goons gave chase, and we all ended up in a room with a grey curtain.

The Order managed to show up not long after that. Sirius and Malfoy argued for a while before actually casting curses at each other. Part of the wall crumbled between them and Malfoy tried to run. I tried to stop Sirius, I really did, but he cast a curse at the exit, toppling the ceiling there and crushing the elder Malfoy under the rubble. It was kind of funny, how easy it was to kill the bastard, but the amusement was short-lived.

After that, spells flew from all directions toward us. A red one hit Sirius in the chest and he fell back through the curtain, lost within the mists behind it. Since then, I had been trying to find a way to bring him back. Hermione even tried to help, but neither of us could figure out anything. After four useless years, I finally let it go. Headmistress McGonagall encouraged it, claiming I was getting too depressed. The world needed their savior to be stronger than that. With that knowledge, my search ended the first year I became the new Defense Against the Malicious Numina professor (nasty business, spirits).

Considering the curse on the position, I hoped that little old Voldie would reveal himself that year. My hopes weren't off, but the Dark Lord remained alive and powerful after our duel in the Quidditch stadium. As the years continued on, my patience wore thin. I was twenty-three now and the war had gone on too long. There had been too many deaths and Voldemort would not survive another year, I swore to it just a few months back. Since then, Headmistress McGonagall and I had been planning, drawing out a plan to lure him to Hogwarts. We had to wait until the students left, and that had thankfully happened a week ago. It didn't make sense to put them in danger.

My forces were already gathered in the castle. Soon enough, Ron or Hermione would come up and tell me that it was time. Until then, I just wanted to hide out. I had faced this man several times, and it got harder and harder to do so every day. This had to be the last battle or I might just hand my wand over to someone else and have them fix it.

I turned toward my office door as it opened. Instead of it being Ron, it was Lee Jordan. This was unexpected, but I stood up and got ready to leave anyway. "All set?" I asked, pulling on my cloak.

"Harry, don't do this." Lee stepped forward and grabbed my cloak. "Please."

Was he nutters? "Quit, Lee."

"You don't understand—"

"Harry!" Ron burst into the room. "Harry, he's here already. We've got to go."

I pulled away from Lee and went for the door. "It's time, then. Come on, Lee."

Ron and I didn't wait for Lee – we ran down the corridors and through the entrance hall until we could push outside. The lines were already in place, the wards of the castle were already down, and everybody looked ready. It was time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There were bodies everywhere. Time seemed to stop as I walked along, looking at the fallen wizards. Thankfully, most of them had black robes on. Still, someone was calling to me, so I ignored them. Voldemort was ready for me. He stood on the hill next to Hagrid's hut, his hands extended down in front of him. His wand dangled loose enough that I had a stupid thought of just smacking it out of his hands.

I tightened my hand around my own wand, raising it. Voldemort just grinned back at me, sliding into a dueling position. We kept like that for what seemed like forever. Neither of us moved, neither of us murmured a protective shield or a curse. I found myself grinning, though I admitted it was stupid to do so. Last time I grinned in front of the Dark Lord, he cast three consecutive curses at me. Maybe I was feeling daring. My hand tightened and I thought of the perfect first curse to toss at him.

"Harry, no!" I didn't bother turning to the voice yet, preparing my first move. "If you curse it, it’ll just get stronger!"

That caught my attention. I put up a shield to protect myself, and then turned to watch as Fred and George ran up toward me. "Get away from here! You’re going to kill yourselves!"

It was all happening too fast. Fred jumped and tackled me while George raised his wand and muttered off a spell. Voldemort froze, his mouth halfway forming the killing curse. The Death Eaters around the grounds froze as well, though their eyes darted back and forth in confusion. Order members, Aurors, and the students fighting looked around in confusion before stunning as many Death Eaters as they could.

I struggled against Fred, not sure what to make of everything. I had to kill Voldemort. "Let me up! I have to kill him!"

"No you don’t."

"He’s not even _real_."

"George, we’ve got to get him out of here."

"Take him to headquarters. Sirius, Draco, and I will take care of this."

My eyes widened. "Siri--" The name didn't even finish leaving my mouth before I was portkeyed away from the battlefield.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Sirius!" I pushed away from Fred as soon as I was steady. "What did he mean about Sirius!"

"Steady, Harry. You need to sit down." Fred tried to move me to a chair.

I shook my head, still charged for a fight. "What have you done? _What have you done_!"

Fred hesitated, and then brought his wand out. He stunned me. The bastard _stunned_ me. I managed to dodge the first, but the second hit my back as I tripped over a side table. It was kind of embarrassing, tripping over something so stupid. I was just glad I didn't hit my head on the way down. Fred hauled me to a chair, binding me by both Muggle and magical means. He didn't lift the curse and I tried to glare at him, though I'm not sure it worked very well.

"Stop your blubbering, okay? I’m going to explain a few things to you." Fred tried a smile. "You’ll stay here until you understand, okay?"

Behind Fred, the door opened and Lucius Malfoy stepped in. "I heard thumping around."

I wasn't sure I knew of a Stunner that could also cause people to hallucinate. Lucius was supposed to be dead.

"Security breach," Fred explained, unaware of my mind's confusion. "Circumstances came about where Harry had to be told."

"That’s… unfortunate. George?"

"On the field with Draco and Sirius."

"Story?"

"The same we decided years ago should this ever happen." Fred shrugged. "If it’s tweaked, we’ll know when they come back."

Lucius nodded. "I’ll get things prepared here."

Fred grinned, giving the older man a salute. "Thanks. I’ll try to make it fast."

"Please do." Lucius gave me a small smile before stepping back out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Fred let out a breath, turning back to me. "Please listen?"

I narrowed my eyes, the curse finally starting to wear off. Soon, I'd be out of the damn bindings and strangling his neck.

"Fine, you’ll stay there, then." Fred rebound me and then sat down on the chair directly across from mine. "First, let me just tell you that George and I aren’t what we seem. We belong to a department in the Ministry designed to bring control and peace to the wizarding world. As one of the highest ranking agents, I formally extend my department's apologies about what has happened over the past few years.

"Second, I want to let you know that Voldemort does not exist, and he hasn’t existed for over twenty years. You really did kill him as a baby. What you’ve been fighting since your first year has been an illusion gone wrong." Fred gave me a sheepish smile. "It got out of control during your fourth year, sorry. We’ve been trying to figure out how to cancel it since then."

I scowled and shifted in my chair. Fred reapplied the bindings.

"Don’t struggle, please. Besides, there is some good news! Sirius was already part of this department and his death was staged, as was Lucius Malfoy’s. He’s out helping George right now, but he’ll be back. He and your father were asked to join, but when James refused, Sirius was assigned to him to make sure James kept quiet. It’s a very select department, after all."

"It was why I couldn’t be their secret keeper," Sirius explained, stepping into the room. "Too many secrets jumble up the mind. Sorry, kiddo."

Fred stood up, turning to face the man. "You’re back fast."

Sirius shrugged. "Nobody remembered Harry’s battle anyway, so there wasn’t much to do."

"Are we all here?"

"Yes, everyone’s here. You going to let my godson up? I haven’t seen him in a long time."

"I was getting to that." Fred smiled and waved his wand. My body relaxed as the bindings let up. "Don’t worry, Harry, the wizarding world needed this. They’ll be united and that was the point."

"Let me get this straight," I said, my voice low. For the moment, I decided to stay seated. "You conjured up Voldemort, put me through hell, all so the world could unite together?"

"Didn’t see another way, mate, or else we would have." Fred spread his arms. "Any ideas?"

"Fuck you." I stood and moved toward the door. This was ridiculous. They needed to be tossed into the mental ward.

"Harry--"

"I’m not going to let the world believe--" Before I could finish, a spell shot from Sirius’ wand and, for the second time, I fell embarrassingly to the ground.

"Sirius!"

"What? We can’t have him go to the papers, right?"

"Fine." Fred sighed. "Come on, let’s get him to a room."

The bastards! I struggled against the curse, but then Sirius cast another and I knew no more.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My head was _killing_ me. I felt like I had another run-in with a few bludgers (courtesy of Dobby). Except I knew that it wasn't bludgers I had been hit with, but my own godfather's stunner. Part of me knew that it shouldn't have happened, but the other part knew that Sirius had always been a better dueler than I ever would be. The man had the training of the Black house behind him, after all. Still, a stunner? And a simple one at that! I was embarrassed more than I was mad.

"I'm going to _kill_ him," I muttered, raising a hand to cover my eyes.

"The hero returns to the living," drawled a voice next to me. "Father thought you would sleep for a while, but he didn't expect two days."

"I'm dead," I decided. "I've died in the battle and I'm imagining that this is happening."

"Why?"

"Why else would Draco bloody Malfoy be speaking to me?" I moved my hand and opened my eyes. Surprisingly, he was smiling at me. The ice prince of the snake house was _smiling_. I had to be dead, there was no other explanation for this.

He shook his head and I couldn't help but follow the soft movements of his hair. I was dead and staring at his hair. Merlin, I was mental. "Potter, you're even stupider than we originally thought."

"Forgive me if I think this is odd."

Draco leaned forward and, like a complete idiot, I let him. "You have to realize that you're in the real world before you go crazy, Potter. Otherwise you'll end up just like your father."

"Are you threatening me?"

"You think that was a threat?"

Merlin's balls of course I did! "My father is dead, Malfoy. What do you think?"

"That wasn't what I meant." Draco frowned and, for a moment, I felt bad. He actually looked like he cared. "Your father knew about us."

"Us?"

"The organization. Didn't Weasley tell you anything?"

"Shut up, of course he did. I just didn't realize you knew anything."

Draco laughed. His eyes lit up in a way I hadn't seen before and, before I could stop it, my heart fluttered in my chest. Fuck, I was acting like a lovesick teenager. I had never looked at Draco like this before, so why should I even start now? I just needed to go out, have a stiff drink, and take a bloke home.

"Potter, maybe you shouldn't jump to conclusions. I hear it hurts when you do that." He stood and moved close enough to sit at the edge of my bed. My legs leaned with the tilt of the bed until we were touching, knee to back. "When my father 'died' I was asked to join and take his place out in the public world. You could say I'm the newest recruit."

"None of this makes sense."

"I know." Draco shrugged. "Sit back, let your strength return, and we'll talk about this later."

"Can I see Sirius?" I hadn't seen my godfather since I was fifteen, I figured I deserved some time.

"He's running errands. Maybe later."

"Malfoy—"

"Look, Potter, just don't push it." Draco stood, frowning down at me. "You need to rest and we need to regroup. You'll get your information soon enough."

"I want it now." I was being childish, but damn it, I wanted to know what was going on! I hated being out of the loop, caught with my pants around my ankles.

"Later." Draco pushed me back onto the bed, cast a charm, and then went toward the door. "Relax, Hero. One of us will be back."

The door shut and all I wanted to do was scream. Taking a breath, I leaned back against the bed and did just that: screamed until my throat was raw.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There were thirty-seven cracks in the ceiling of the room I had been locked in. Cracks four and five connected to nearly all the others, except for twenty-two. Twenty-two seemed to just want to float in the corner by itself. I spent a lot of time staring up at that crack, tracing it. After the second day of being alone with that crack, I felt as if I had made a new friend.

Merlin, I was driving myself bonkers. It didn't help that three times a day, a plate full of food appeared beside the bed. I ate what I needed to, but no more than that. I didn't trust being in the house with a Malfoy, even if there were the Weasley twins and Sirius in here as well. As far as I knew, the lot of them could have turned against me as well. I couldn't take all of them out with the little wandless magic I knew – that subject in Hogwarts wasn't my favorite. McGonagall seemed upset when I couldn't even master a simple Levitation Charm on a pencil.

I wanted to go outside, to contact my friends. I didn't know who lived, or who died. I was sure the world was still celebrating, but soon enough they would notice I wasn't there. Wouldn't they care to come looking for me? Ah, there goes selfish Harry Potter again, thinking of himself. But seriously, I just killed Voldemort – the most evil wizard in the world apart from Malfoy. How could they not notice I was missing?

It was pathetic, but I almost cried when the door to my room cracked open. I didn't care who it was, as long as they were human. There were only a certain number of times I could look up and talk to the cracks in the ceiling or the dust particles falling around the room. If they were trying to torture me, they were doing a pretty good job of it, the bastards.

A blond head appeared from around the door and I groaned. It just _had_ to be one of them. I wanted a human to talk to, not a snake. I let myself fall back on the bed, my eyes closed. This had to be the worst day of the week so far, and I was sure I was only three days into it.

"Go ahead and kill me," I told him. "Please, put me out of my misery."

"That isn't the way you usually talk." Draco sat on the edge of the bed. "Either way, I can't kill you. You're my assignment."

"Isn't that another way of saying you're going to kill me?"

"You really _are_ stupid, Potter. We don't kill anyone."

I snorted. Draco Malfoy and his father not killing anyone? I must have knocked my head somewhere and this was a bizarre dream. "Oh really?"

"We bury the bodies and eventually they die anyway."

For a moment, I almost believed him. Why wouldn't? He was more annoying than he used to be, so I kicked at him with my feet. "You're an asshole."

"And you're gullible. I don't see the problem here."

He was asking for it. "I am not gullible."

"Do you act this way with your students?"

I wanted to hex him so bad it hurt. "Why are you here, Malfoy."

Draco offered a smile, leaning closer to my face as he did so. If I weren't already on my back, I would be leaning away. "Because you're my assignment and, right now, I have to take you to my supervisor."

"Why now?"

"Because we never thought you would find out about us. Even if we did try to prepare for it." Draco offered me his hand. I stared at it, remembering our first meeting inside Ollivander's. He had offered that same hand to me that day, but I shoved him into a shelf and toppled boxes on him for calling Hagrid names. I would have done the same now, but there weren't any shelves to shove him into.

"And?" I asked, hoping he would say more. The hand in front of my face never wavered.

"And it's time to discuss our options."

This was a bad idea, I could feel it, but I took the hand anyway. I almost wished I hadn't.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The twins met us at the door to some room I was sure I didn't want to go through. The smiles that usually put me at ease were there, but my nerves were too high to be calmed by any of it. Draco lingered behind me as the twins each wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I felt smothered by them for the first time in years.

"Harry! Our favorite little brother."

"One that isn't even related to us."

"Even if he is our favorite."

I knew I wanted human interaction, but this was too much at once. There was a headache building right between my eyes.

"Guys, I—"

"Don't be too afraid, Harry."

"We promise we won't hurt you too much."

"Can't promise about Malfoy—"

"—Either of them."

"But Sirius is always good for a laugh!"

"Boys," Draco interrupted, "he needs to get inside the room. We all do, unless you want my father to come find you."

George (I think it was George) grinned and his arm tightened around my shoulder. "That might be fun." I really didn't want to think about that.

"Get your mind out of the gutter." Draco pushed past us. "This is important and we'll all be out on our arses if we don't do this."

"Don't mind him," Fred (the one not thinking dirty things about Draco's father) told me. "He doesn't like how things turned out, is all."

"Will you two just shut up?" Draco pushed open the door. "Get inside the room and let's get this over with."

I had no choice but to go into the room, especially since both the twins were pulling me through the door. I'd rather go back to my room with the cracks and the dust bunnies. Still, I let them shove me around and onto the single chair in the middle of the room. Make the room bigger, add a few more people, and I might as well be in the Ministry courtroom. Actually, I'd rather be in that room, being asked about the banshee that attacked my cousin and me when I was fifteen. At least I knew what was going on.

Honestly, the only thing I really wanted right now was for Lucius to stop staring at me as if I was a piece of meat.

"We're all here," Draco said from beside me. "Can we get this over with?"

"My pleasure." Lucius leaned against the wall by the window. Draco soon joined him there and I had to look away. At least the other three were attempting to look friendly.

The other three. Yeah, Sirius was there, grinning at me from the shadows. I swear, I was going to wake up at any moment. I'd be back in my classroom, waiting for the confrontation with Voldemort. Then I would kill the bastard, because he took away the same man who was smiling at me.

"Before we start," he said, not moving from the shadows, "I just want to say that we'll catch up later, kiddo. Right now, I've got to do my job. Understand?"

"Sure, Sirius. Whatever you say." What else could I have told him? No, Siri, that isn't a good idea. Let's go talk now, bugger the rest of things.

"Thank you." Sirius pushed off the wall. The twins moved to stand next to Draco and, when Sirius finally stopped, I could see the five of them easily in front of me. "As the highest ranking member of our department, I call this meeting of a security breach to order. Are all members present?"

"No," Fred told him. "Three fell at Hogwarts, five have been missing since the first war."

Sirius' lips quirked. "Nothing's changed, then. We'll continue. Fred, George, you were there. Report please?"

"Do we have to?"

"We already debriefed this."

Sirius sighed and I couldn't help but smirk. "Boys…"

"Fine, fine. We had the spell—"

"—And we arrived nearly too late, thanks to someone." There was a look toward Lucius.

"We had to stop Harry, so we couldn't help it."

One of them shrugged. "Security breach."

"This is the worst part of these bloody meetings."

"Boys—"

"At least Lee made it more interesting."

Draco smirked. "Yes, by lighting your hair on fire."

"Their hair is already on fire," Lucius pointed out. "It is red."

"You would know," Sirius retorted. "Be serious, now. Can we get back to what's at hand here?"

"Be serious," one of the twins mimicked. I lost track of which one was Fred.

"I _am_ serious!"

I couldn't help it, I laughed. I knew they were all staring at me, but this was too funny. None of this made sense anymore and I was sure that this was some kind of test. Pretty soon, Ron was going to come dancing through the door in a bird's bathing suit. That or McGonagall would show up and declare that school was of no use and we could all run around abusing books. Merlin, I needed to check myself into a mental hospital if this continued.

"Harry?"

I waved a hand, settling myself back in the chair. "No, no… keep going. This is the best dream ever."

"This isn't a dream, Harry." Sirius put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry…"

Now they were really pulling my leg. "Sirius…"

He took his hand away and straightened his shoulders. "You have three choices, Harry, that's all. Now that we've gone this far, there's no going back. We have the permission of the Ministry to do as we please when it comes to people finding us out."

"Then the choices?"

"The same ones we gave the others, including James." Sirius reached back toward Lucius, who handed him an official-looking parchment. Sirius didn't bother opening it. "Are you ready?"

How bad could it be? "I'm ready."

"The first, and the least popular choice, is that we kill you. One quick spell and you don't have to worry." He looked a little pale at the thought, though I'm sure I did as well. Like hell I was going to die that easily.

"The second?" I asked, wanting my godfather to move on.

"We Obliviate you, putting new memories in place of the old ones," Draco supplied. "It's the one we've all performed more than once. Remember when Percy Weasley disappeared for a few days?" I nodded, pretty sure of where he was going. "Yes, well, he stumbled across Sirius after the man died. He chose that option."

"He always was a coward," Fred muttered from his position.

"The third," Sirius continued, "is to do as your father did. You will be silenced about who we are and what we do. They only reason you get this choice is because one of us is still open to take on the responsibility." He looked back to Draco and, somehow, I knew that was coming.

"Who do they have?" I asked, though I wasn't sure why.

"I had James, as you know, and haven't been granted permission to have another." Sirius turned and pointed to Lucius. "Severus Snape, and we're all grateful. The man helped us more than we thought he would." He motioned toward the twins. "One of them has Lee, and the other their mother."

"Mum stumbled across George with Lucius," Fred muttered. "After that, she insisted to know what we were doing."

"Which leaves Draco," I murmured. "Wonderful. Why can't I just join you?"

"The department doesn't want you." Sirius shrugged. "They follow certain people and while they considered you, they don't want us being found because you do something stupid."

"I would not—"

"Shut up, Potter. Yes you would." Draco crossed his arms. "Just hurry up and decide already."

If I had my wand, I would hex him. Instead, I scowled and focused on my godfather. "I don't want to lose you again. I'll do it. I'll keep my silence, and my memory, at any cost."

"Are you sure, Harry?" Fred said from the side. "You will have to say an oath."

"I'm sure. Please, Sirius, let me have this."

Sirius glanced back to Lucius, and then nodded. "All right."

The next thing I knew, Lucius cast a spell and my body was on fire.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 _MALFOY HEALS HERO_

The headline of the _Daily Prophet_ screamed at me, but all I could do was glare back. Malfoy healed me, my ass. His father tried to kill me – again. I sighed, looking away from the newspaper. The picture of Draco crying over my mangled body made me ill. Sure, most of the picture had been staged and my body Glamoured to look like that, but my broken ribs and arm were real.

"Can you stop reading that article? It's giving me a headache." I closed my eyes and tried to wiggle my fingers without hurting too much.

"You're the one who chose this, Potter. Deal with it."

"I didn't ask to get my bones broken."

Draco sighed and (finally) dropped the paper. "If I remember correctly, which I do, you clearly said you wanted to not die and keep your memory."

"Yes, but—"

"At any cost." Draco smirked, folding the paper back in front of his face.

"You don't need to inflate your ego any more. Put it down." When Draco ignored that, I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my good hand. "When are you going to heal me? I know you can."

"As soon as you recite the oath."

Damn the oath. "Malfoy…"

"What? Your father did it with Black, so why can't you do it with me?" He lowered the paper again. I could barely look into his eyes and almost wished he still had it up.

"They were _friends_. There's a difference, you know."

"We can't be friends?"

I had to be honest, his question caught me off guard. Never before had I ever imagined being friends with him. It could have happened, sure, but would it? He helped control my life in a twisted kind of way. Besides that, he and Ron would never get along. I'd be between them for the rest of my life. It wasn't exactly a position I'd willingly want to be in.

"I don't think that's going to work out," I told him honestly.

"Why not?"

"You and Ron would kill each other. Not to mention you hate Hermione and tried to kill nearly half the rest of my friends."

Draco scoffed and pulled the paper back up over his face. He didn't say another word and, for a moment, I actually felt guilty for what I said. Then I didn't care. Why should I? It's his own fault that I don't like him. Still… I sighed and closed my eyes. Might as well get some sleep so I could finish healing the old-fashioned way. Bastard still had my wand.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The worst part about healing naturally at this point in my life? I was already used to potions and charms. One simple spell or a bottle of some nasty-tasting shite and I was back to normal. But no, not this time – everything had to be natural. My ribs were wrapped and my arm was pulled into a sling on my chest. At least until I said a stupid oath that I wasn't even sure I wanted to say. Sure, I would keep my mouth shut about all this stuff, but why the oath?

The food Draco brought didn't even look appetizing. It looked like a glob of goo and, when Draco explained that the twins made it, I knew that I shouldn't eat it. Draco insisted it was edible and actually good, but I didn't exactly trust it. For all I knew, as soon as I ate something, we would both turn into some giant bird. I think Neville still had nightmares about that, too.

As soon as Draco finished his breakfast, he pulled out the _Daily Prophet_. I rolled my eyes, poking at my food as he flipped the pages until they stood without drooping too much. If the corner rolled even so much as a millimeter further, he would rustle the pages again until they were perfect. I swear, he was doing it to get on my nerves.

About the third rustle, I finally looked up from my food to tell him to shove off, but the title blaring on the front page stopped me. ' _MALFOY-WEASLEY COME TOGETHER_ ' – it had to be some kind of joke. There was no way Ron or Draco would be in the same room without fighting. I pushed my tray to the side before leaning forward to snag the paper from him.

"Potter, that's—"

"What the bloody hell is this?" I didn't care about the whole paper, just that one article. "Malfoy, what did you do?"

Draco scowled, crossing his arms. "I did nothing."

"Right, the papers just decided to—"

"I'm just making amends," Draco snapped. "Don't presume to think it's anymore than that." He pushed back his chair so roughly I thought it would splinter against the wall. 

"I wasn't presuming anything, you arse. I just don't know why you'd even try to do this." Was that so hard to believe? I didn't think so.

Apparently Draco didn't know himself. That or he swallowed some odd potion ingredient that he was allergic to. There was a nice tint of pink roaming over his cheeks. He crossed and uncrossed his arms a few times before settling himself on the edge of my bed. I was wondering if that had become his new favorite seat, but I didn't dare ask. Not now at least; maybe later.

"You're my assignment," he said finally. I had to lean forward to hear what he had said, bloody ponce was speaking so softly. "You need to take the oath and I want you to be happy, despite what you might think. If making friends with the Weasel means making you happy, then so be it."

He sounded so sincere, but I couldn't help myself. "I didn't know you were such a girl." I grinned as his cheeks tinted darker. "Now what the hell is this oath? I obviously can't leave unless I take it."

"You don't even want to know the details?"

Was he hit by a bludger? "Malfoy, anything is better than being in here. I'm not made to stay inside walls and you know that."

Draco smiled and I had to admit, it looked good while his cheeks were flushed. Bad thoughts, Harry, bad. "I'll go get Fred, then," he said, giving my knee a pat. "He's the one that's got to be here for it."

The hand lingered on my knee and I couldn't bring myself to try and move it. If he felt comfortable with it there, let him keep it there. No point in moving it.

"So, Fred?" I asked. I liked the hand more than I wanted to, but I also wanted to get the bloody hell out of here.

His hand jerked off my knee. "Yeah, him." He stood and went to the door. "Eat, I swear they didn't poison the food. George is actually a good cook."

"Yes, mum." I grinned as he left the room, all but slamming the door behind him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Oath my ass. It was just another joke, really. Fred came into the room, propped himself in the chair next to the bed, and grinned. The stupid arse then said I owed him four sickles because I didn't last as long as he thought my pride would let me. With a flick of his wand, I was healed and handed a disgusting smelling potion.

"You need to relax," he told me. "Honestly, it's not like there was really a war or anything. And the only people who _died_ were stupid buggers anyway."

Oh yes, I wanted to hex his arse all the way back to the Burrow. Alas, I could do no such thing in my position. I knew carefully hidden ministry secrets – one wrong word and I'd likely be in the papers the next morning with an unexplained death. On top of that threat to my highly-prized life, I was still Draco's assignment. He would be living with me and it was up to us to make up some cock and bull story about how this all happened. Of course, we had the bloody newspaper article, but there needed to be some kind of background.

To solidify it all, I went to McGonagall and handed in my resignation. It would be easier to remember all of this shite away from the students. A few days later, Draco bloody Malfoy was helping move my things into a brand new apartment in the Muggle world. He apparently already had a story lined up, but refused to inform me on this until we 'settled down.'

"I still don't see the _why_ of all this moving in together stuff. I'm not going to tell anybody." I shoved more cups into an already full cabinet, wishing Draco would just tell me the bloody details and move out.

"Don't you know? It's 'Adopt-a-Death Eater' week."

I was not going to laugh. "Malfoy, stop being stupid."

"Fine, fine." He got up and grabbed a box of plates. I was shocked he was actually helping. "The story is that my father owed a lot in taxes. Add in a few fines toward the Ministry and compensation loss from the war, and the Malfoy fortune is no more."

I sighed, not sure I really wanted the truth. "And?"

"The truth is that all of my money is in another vault with your name on it. I'm rooming with you for at least a year to make sure you keep your silence. Sirius did the same thing with your father."

"And Lee did it with the twins." I closed the cupboard. "You won't survive a week."

"We'll see about that, Potter." Draco closed the cupboard with the plates. "Make dinner? I'm hungry."

He was out of the room before I could reach my wand to hex him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Not only did the slimy bugger last a week, but he lasted an entire bloody month. He even got along with Ron. The two would sit in the living room, playing chess and arguing about Quidditch. I felt like a bloody housewife, especially since Hermione and I generally took over the kitchen. The twins didn't help. They dropped by often, checking up on how we were doing. It was Fred more often than George, but the visits were every few days. I was the one about to crack, not Draco.

"Stop fretting," Hermione told me. "Soon enough, you'll be off to Muggle homes to explain this world to them. It'll be fun."

Yes, the hero of the wizarding world decided to work with the Ministry in informing Muggle families about this world. I was surprised the twins trusted me with this, considering I could tell them the real truth. "I'm afraid to leave him alone in my flat," I told her. I peeked around the corner to see Draco's eyebrows knit in confusion. Good, the arse was probably losing. "He'll redecorate the place in nothing but silver and green."

"It is a little drab…"

"Hermione!"

"What?" Hermione picked up her tea. "All I'm saying is that the place could use some work."

"And have you decorated your own place yet?"

She flushed and I grinned. "Nev and I haven't had the time…"

"And yet Ron and Luna built an extra story and several hidden rooms."

Hermione made a face, still staring into her tea. I think I won this round, even if she didn't want to admit it. She had married Neville Longbottom a few months after school and though Nev was sterile, they enjoyed each other. Last I knew, they were looking into adoption opportunities. Ron and Luna still hadn't married, which drove Mrs. Weasley bonkers, but they had given her triplets so far. She only complained now when the three little pigs tore up her kitchen. Usually, the five of us (plus Draco now) spent at least one day every two weeks catching up, but Neville was working overtime and one of the Monsters got sick.

"Things are different, Harry. Neville says he's so close to discovering something and I have to trust him." Hermione put the tea down and, for a moment, I felt bad about teasing her. "It's a fertility potion he's designing with Snape."

"One that he can use?"

"No, it's only for girls. Something about the plant is toxic to men."

I frowned. "What good will that do?"

"None." She stuck out her tongue and gave me a smile. "Doesn't matter. We've been approved for adoption, so we're going to look right after he finishes."

"That's fantastic, Hermi—"

"Bastard!"

The two of us looked toward the living room. Ron was standing, pointing a finger at a smirking Draco. That would make it nearly five times in a row that he had beat Ron at chess. I grinned, pushing from the table and making my way to the living room. Even though I wanted him to lose, part of me couldn't help but feel proud. After all, I had never been able to beat Ron at chess.

"Don't call him a bastard when he obviously knows who his parents are." I clapped a hand to Ron's back. "Besides, it's only five times. Maybe he's got good luck."

"Shove off, Harry." Ron sat back down and stared at the board. "I thought I had you here," he murmured and pointed to a square.

Draco leaned forward to rearrange the pieces. I assumed it was where they had been. "You would have if I hadn't led you there. By sacrificing my castle, I brought your knight here. And since I kept you distracted, your king eventually exposed himself."

Hermione and I both saw when realization dawned on Ron. His eyes widened just a fraction and he sat back. "I'll be cursed. Where did you learn that?"

Draco smiled and I felt my heart skip slightly. Damn, he looked, well, I wanted to shag him he looked that good. "A Gryffindor, actually. Two of them to be exact."

Fred and George, it had to be. I didn't know they could play chess.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Despite knowing that everything was a lie and nothing that had happened was real, nightmares still plagued me. More times than not, I would wake up screaming. The times when I forgot the charms, Draco would be standing over me with a worried expression that I had never seen on him before. He would apologize, run a hand through my hair, and we wouldn't speak of the incident the next morning.

Hermione jumped all over that when I told her. She pulled out all sorts of books about connection magic and all this other shite that was supposed to prove that we were compatible. I couldn't tell her the truth of it, so I just sat through the excitable lectures and waited for her to finish. The last one she tried, she stopped in the middle and ran out. Draco had come into the room and we just shrugged at each other. How should either of us know what that girl went on about sometimes?

After that, life seemed to settle down. I started my job, visiting Muggle families and informing them about their kid's "special abilities." Most of them were confused, some were thrilled, and others reminded me of my uncle. On those days, I usually went home, sat on the couch, and stared at the wall. Eventually, Draco would sit next to me and attempt to convince me to move. Most of the time, he was pretty damn convincing. Firewhiskey was usually involved.

Draco and I had a routine, though. We had a comfort in living next to someone that understood what really happened. Hermione and Ron would never understand – they barely mention the name 'Voldemort' or anything that happened. To them, it was real, it was solid, and I destroyed the bastard. I wasn't allowed to correct them, nor did I really want to. One of us pissed off about the situation was enough.

That didn't mean that things were over. There were still some followers that believed Voldemort would come back once more. I asked George why nobody bothered to correct those buggerheads, but he just said that they couldn't disclose the truth to any more people. It was slightly ridiculous, especially when the papers got involved.

_Voldemort's Supporters Still Strong!_

I sighed as I saw the headline. This was at least the fourth one this week. "I thought they were all caught at the last scuffle this week."

"Some obviously weren't there." Draco ruffled the paper once more. "I've been told to go check it out."

"Why?" As far as the Wizarding World was concerned, Draco still leeched off of me.

"Just in case any of them know the truth."

Right, of course. "And our story here?"

"My mother's Aunt wants me to visit her in France."

That was the stupidest… "Malfoy—"

"Don't worry, Potter. Nobody will look into it." Draco flipped the paper away. "My father has seen to that already."

"Yes, and that makes me feel so much better about this."

"It should." Draco stood and brought his cup of coffee to the sink. "I'll be back in a few days."

I closed my eyes as I felt his hands run through my hair. Merlin, I loved it when he did this. There was no reason for it, but neither of us bothered to stop. As soon as his hands were there, though, they were gone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A few days turned out to be longer than I thought. By day three, the entire place was clean – including the little nooks Draco and I rarely liked to touch. The miniature library was sorted by author. Then it was sorted by title. Lastly, I sorted it by genre and author. I couldn't decide which way Draco would like more and it drove me batty. Hermione came by a few times, but I'm sure it was only to make sure I was eating and not wasting away. I really don't know why.

Lately, she had been getting into the habit of asking stupid questions. What he liked to eat, what were his favorite shows, and how he was taking to his life in my place. Ron thought the questions were hilarious, as did the rest of his bloody family when they found out. George even told me it was sweet, the prick. Just because we live together doesn't mean we're gay for each other.

The fact that I was gearing up for a recon mission that nobody but those of the organization knew of didn't mean that I loved him. He was a missing wizard who needed to be rescued. I was no Prince Charming, but he was sure a bloody damsel in distress. He didn't have to go on this stupid thing in the first place, but no. He had to try and be a hero.

Fred sat perched on my counter, watching as I moved back and forth through the place. Wand, back-up wand, non-magical weapons, potions… Was I missing anything? I stopped in the middle of the living room, trying to think.

"You remember the area?" Fred asked. Bastard was eating one of my apples.

"I remember. Studied the maps this morning."

"You should take them just in case."

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. You have the portkey, right?"

Fred held up the apple. "I'm eating it."

"Brilliant." Ignoring the bite marks, I grabbed the apple and stepped away from him. "Wish me luck?"

Fred slid off the counter. "Sure, because you're going to need it."

Arsehole. I flipped him off before activating the Portkey.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I could not imagine Draco Malfoy down here, knee deep in mud and what smelled like dog shit. Knowing him, he got caught trying to spell the smell off his clothes. When we got back, I was going to toss all of them in the largest manure pit I could find. Let him try to get _that_ smell out.

The more I waded through the muck, the closer I knew I was getting. Halfway through the mess, I could hear chanting and moaning. If these were Death Eaters, they had gotten strange. Fred and George might actually want to reintroduce the fake Voldemort – might do these guys some good at least. And if the stupid bugger got out of control again, well, Cedric was proof enough that he couldn't do much damage.

Though I was sure I was well enough protected, I muttered a few more protective spells just in case. War, fake or not, did that to a person. As I trudged closer, I could see that I really didn't have that much to worry about. Five people decked out in what looked like glittering robes surrounded a giant pot. I recognized the scene out of one of Dudley's old fairy tale books. Double, double, toil and trouble and all that witchcraft nonsense. Uncle Vernon tried to show him 'bad magic' compared to my 'worse magic.'

This wouldn't take long. I was prepared to get a nice fine from the Ministry for exposing myself to Muggles, but things had to be done. Draco was here somewhere, I just wasn't sure where. I could worry about him later, or so I thought. I barely got my wand up before three more sparkly robes came out, dragging Draco with them. Damsel sighted. Time to work. One, two, three, easy. Or so it should have been.

No matter what situation I found myself in, something always made it worse. In this case, the glittery pagans had an actual wizard with them. After I fired my first spell, all but one of the glittery robes panicked, running in all different directions. The reflection from the fire onto their robes was a little distracting, but they couldn't hide the red spell that shot my way. I dodged and the fight began. I don't know how many hits I landed, but I did know that all of my Stunners hit the flailing glitter blobs. Soon, it was just myself and the wizard.

"Who are you?" I demanded, trying to sound less tired than I was.

The wizard laughed, pointing his wand toward an unconscious Draco. "You want him that bad?"

"Yes." And Merlin, did I want him in every way possible. Maybe it was because I was about to lose the annoying prick, or maybe it was because I always did want him on his stomach, but I wanted him.

"Prove it."

Bloody hell, was he serious? "You asked for it." We raised our wands toward one another at the same time, but my casting was quicker. I stunned him and, before I could think of it, I tossed a portkey on his chest. Let the Ministry deal with him.

I didn't notice I was bleeding until I went to shake Draco's shoulder. When he didn't move, I murmured a quick _Ennervate_ and rolled him over. Draco's annoyingly beautiful eyes blinked up at me and I could have kissed him right there, but that's not what friends (were we?) did. Instead, I reached a slightly bloodied hand out to help him stand up.

"Don't you ever do that again, you prick."

"Did you miss me that much?" Draco smirked. If there had been a wall nearby, he would have been against it by now. "I had things under control."

"You did not." I ran a hand through my hair, trying not to pull it out. "This is the last time I come to save you."

"That's fine."

"And don't get me started on the fact that you didn't even come here with backup!"

"Harry."

I stopped, turning to find him nearly three inches away from my face. My breath wouldn't come out evenly. I couldn't focus on anything but his eyes as he moved closer. I could have moved away. I could have run. Instead, I kept where I was like a fool. Draco's newly blood-stained fingers touched my wrist, slowly sliding up my arm. I could barely feel his touch, but the brush of cold air that came when his fingers disappeared sent a shiver down my back. Merlin, when did we get like this? When did this happen?

His face leaned close to mine. I could feel his breath, just as uneven as mine, sliding over my cheek. My eyes drifted shut. My hands were shaking. I vaguely wondered how my breath smelled. It didn't seem to matter as his lips hesitantly touched mine. It was barely a touch, not even a second, and there was an inch between us again.

"Are you okay?"

I barely heard him. "No," I said just as softly. Why would I be okay?

He smiled and, before either of us could say anything else, we were kissing again.


End file.
